Can I add some levity here? This made me think of a joke I heard once, "We have been married so long we only have oral sex now. As we pass each other in the hall we say "F-you.""
I think this resonates with so many of us. I know that most of my problem is the fact that my husband is a narcissist and I have become just a shell of my former self. After years of criticism and hearing, "Having sex with you is like having sex with a dead fish." Why would I even be remotely interested? There is no affection to be had anywhere and perhaps if there were I would be more responsive. When sex feels transactional and I feel more like a prostitute than a cherished wife, it is hard to even begin to want it. It becomes just one more thing I need to do for my husband and no longer holds any pleasure for me.
I hesitated for quite some time before deciding to go ahead with this. Let us hope that what I am going to write does not offend people, this is certainly not my intention.
Relations between individuals do require to be maintained, they will not stay perfect on their own. I would suggest the couple to have a frank discussion about the issues affecting them and try to find a workable solution for the matters affecting their relationship.
If they are choosing this option, I would like to be the first person wishing them success in their efforts.
OMG ... I so relate to this. I hope they can start to unearth their issues with a counselor to help. Menopause needs to be examined as one possible contributor, recognizing that it's no one's fault. They deserve better than this. So did me and my second wife, but it was too late for us.
There are times I think humans place too much value on species, rather than individuals. Originally it was a math hack: If you're not invested emotionally, you think dispassionately: but numbers and ideas don't have emotions. Humans - at least THIS human - HAS emotions and I am all too easily damaged by what I perceive as slights. Perhaps that is my personal reality, but that is the only reality know.
Be kind to EVERYONE, but especially to those you love. "It's only words - and words are all I have to take your heart away."
Great article - appreciated the focus on the everyday foreplay as well as important of loving selftalk
Can I add some levity here? This made me think of a joke I heard once, "We have been married so long we only have oral sex now. As we pass each other in the hall we say "F-you.""
I think this resonates with so many of us. I know that most of my problem is the fact that my husband is a narcissist and I have become just a shell of my former self. After years of criticism and hearing, "Having sex with you is like having sex with a dead fish." Why would I even be remotely interested? There is no affection to be had anywhere and perhaps if there were I would be more responsive. When sex feels transactional and I feel more like a prostitute than a cherished wife, it is hard to even begin to want it. It becomes just one more thing I need to do for my husband and no longer holds any pleasure for me.
Dear Susanna,
I hesitated for quite some time before deciding to go ahead with this. Let us hope that what I am going to write does not offend people, this is certainly not my intention.
Relations between individuals do require to be maintained, they will not stay perfect on their own. I would suggest the couple to have a frank discussion about the issues affecting them and try to find a workable solution for the matters affecting their relationship.
If they are choosing this option, I would like to be the first person wishing them success in their efforts.
Kwa Tjong-Liem
She's just using him as an on-site girl friend. Lots of women would love a thin bald man. Find some one that appreciates you.
OMG ... I so relate to this. I hope they can start to unearth their issues with a counselor to help. Menopause needs to be examined as one possible contributor, recognizing that it's no one's fault. They deserve better than this. So did me and my second wife, but it was too late for us.
There are times I think humans place too much value on species, rather than individuals. Originally it was a math hack: If you're not invested emotionally, you think dispassionately: but numbers and ideas don't have emotions. Humans - at least THIS human - HAS emotions and I am all too easily damaged by what I perceive as slights. Perhaps that is my personal reality, but that is the only reality know.
Be kind to EVERYONE, but especially to those you love. "It's only words - and words are all I have to take your heart away."
I
I'm there, too. I've hit menopause a long time back. We haven't had sex since. Without since 2009.
100% on target. Been there.