29 Comments
User's avatar
Jessica Miller's avatar

I thoroughly enjoyed this, laughing so loudly at one point that I scared the dog.

Expand full comment
Alison Krupnick's avatar

lol same!!!!

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

aw, thanks gang. just wait till i get the courage to write about dating... ahem.

Expand full comment
Jessica Miller's avatar

If it helps, we all have experienced our share of dating disasters so you have an empathetic audience!

Like Nora Ephron said, “When you slip on a banana peel, people laugh at you. But when you tell people you slipped on a banana peel, it's your laugh.”

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

Oh, that makes me happy.

Expand full comment
Kelsey Rose's avatar

I loved reading this and actually laughed out loud during some parts!

I did my health exam almost two years ago and I relate to so much of this. I am relieved after reading the part about you stumbling in the doctor’s office, becoming somewhat of an idiot, because I suffer from making mistakes in the most mundane situations. Roaming around like a clumsy toddler. It made me feel a little less broken!

Also like you, I fit into a cliché. I’m of the “American woman with brown hair and bangs who dresses a little weird, so she must be exactly like Emily in Paris” kind. I have to remind French people who call me Emily that Emily didn’t bother speaking French, and I am not trying to be an embarrassment here! 😂

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

Thanks Kelsey, I'm glad I'm not alone in my bumbling. But it's exciting isn't it?

Expand full comment
Kelsey Rose's avatar

It definitely gives me lots of stories to laugh about with loved ones!

Expand full comment
Susan Coyne's avatar

I’m also an expat here and sometimes the clumsy toddler wandering makes me so embarrassed — so, glad to hear I have company!

Expand full comment
Kelsey Rose's avatar

I hope it gets easier for you! ❤️

I am less embarrassed with strangers because they can tell straight away that I have an accent and I must be a foreigner. But around people I know (family-in-law, my husband’s friends, people I am slowly getting to know in my neighborhood shops, etc,) I feel more embarrassed because they can see me making the same mistakes over and over again. I catch myself being hard on myself sometimes like, “why is it taking so long for certain things to stick?” and then I remember to give myself grace and patience! Most people don’t have the courage to move to the other side of the world and/or to learn a new language, so we have a superpower of sorts. ☺️

Expand full comment
Susan Coyne's avatar

Thank you! People do notice my accent quickly and most are gracious but, as I’m sure you’ve experienced yourself, others are less gracious, being visibly impatient or rude. I know it’s a long-haul kind of thing, learning another language and culture… What I want to say to people who are impatient with me or give me a look like I’m dumb is: “Hey! I speak Japanese! This is my third language and fourth country of residence! Have you ever done anything like this?” But I don’t say anything, of course. And most people ARE kind and decent enough.

I totally relate to being *more* embarrassed around people you know. I hardly speak French when my old friends are around because I get stage fright or something 😅. Bon courage as you continue on this journey!

Expand full comment
Kelsey Rose's avatar

Thank you, courage to you as well!! And do you really speak three languages and have lived in four countries? I am amazed by you, truly!!

Expand full comment
Sally McKee's avatar

Jenny Douglas and Kent Shell just shared this with me. Enjoyable and informative. I will share it with others. Looks like I'm not going to get as far as the carte vitale. An ancient pre-existing condition is preventing me from getting private health care. I even hired an ex-pat agency to help me with it all! Glad you made it through the system.

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

I'm so sorry to hear that. The insurance thing scares me because I have to renew the expat insurance every year... so praying not to get sick until I can get to the five year cards within the system

Expand full comment
Carol Webster's avatar

I so enjoy your posts about life as an expat. It brings back happy memories of my time as a student in Germany (at the age of 30); some days I long to return permanently.

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

I’m so glad. Thanks Carol

Expand full comment
rosie Hersch's avatar

Hi Susanna- Love the story. You may remember me. I am the grandmother who sent you a photo of my granddaughter Billie with her dog, Pickles , a Boston Terrier and you posted it on one of your articles when you still resided in the USA. My husband and I will be in Paris for a few days around Oct 31 to 4 Nov or thereabouts after travelling around Europe for the previous 6 weeks. (been to Paris 5 times and Peter and I just love it) I have a cousin in Paris and want to see him. We will leave Paris around 4 Nov flying home on a direct flight to Perth, West Australia before then flying home to Melbourne. We would love to meet you for a coffee if possible. I have been in a writing group since I retired 12 years ago and have had a few poems and short stories printed in local papers. Anyway I am on messenger in FB if you care to contact- Best wishes Rosie Hersch Melbourne Australia.

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

Thanks so much Rosie, and I'd love to have coffee. you can find me on whatsapp at 1 9175584549

Expand full comment
Freija van der Schot's avatar

This gorgeous story leaves me wondering if a chest x-ray would count as a nude picture on the socials, and if it could be a reason for Mark Z and his pals to block your account?

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

Thanks Freija. And yes, hahaha, lung porn, probably only taken down if I accompanied it with a rant about the cruelty and amorality of the American for

Expand full comment
JCastro's avatar

Absolutely delightful! Doctors popping out like gophers ... the reason you keep ordering kidneys in restaurants ... something nice to post on a senior dating site... you are a hoot. I hope the joyful spirit I hear in your writing continues to blossom in the City of Love.

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

Thanks for the kind words Janice. Hope you're well my friend

Expand full comment
Aaron's avatar

I love it! The idea of posting healthy lung xray pics on a seniors dating site almost made me spit out my coffee laughing. As always, your voice is so smart, funny, observant, and human.

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

Aaron! thank you...you're so kind. I'm guessing chat gpt can't do this yet

Expand full comment
Judith Stoler's avatar

Susanna,

More! More! Don't you ever stop writing! I laughed so hard and even shed a tear or two. Happy Holidays, my friend -- do you remember the days when I taught you to leave your shoes outside your hotel room and to collect them -- freshly polished -- the next morning? You've come a long way, Babe and what a journey it has been. Big hugs, Judith

Expand full comment
Susanna Schrobsdorff's avatar

Aw, thank you so much. And I've never forgotten how you taught me to navigate that world. love, s

Expand full comment
Susan Coyne's avatar

Wait, can we do this in just any old hotel in France, or will we be shoe-less if we leave our shoes in the hallway in the wrong kind of hotel? I’ve never heard of this!

Expand full comment
Bonita M Browy's avatar

I enjoy your style of writing tremendously! It's so good to read about the outside world. Your sense of humor is wonderful. I'll enjoy France thru your articles! Thank you for sharing!

Expand full comment
Jenn Davis - My French Table's avatar

Haha that questionnaire took me by surprise too! Later I was told it’s good to answer a couple oui so you seem normal 🙄 but I kept thinking nope have to have perfect mental state for France to take me in!

Expand full comment